Baris-Baris yang Bergantungan di Langit & Sekuntum Mawar yang Layu Selepas Hari Kekasih

Selamat datang, Tuan. Sejahtera atas kamu. Mari Tuan. Banyak yang hendak kita bicarakan. Silakan Tuan. Ada sedikit minuman. Apa kabar?

Waktu semakin melembik. Di sini. Saya tidak tahu. Garis horizon sering tidak keruan. Di sini. Saya lagi tidak tahu. Tuan kah itu?

Hujan. Dewa-dewi pun malas berkeliaran.

Dunia sudah bulat/bujur. Tidak rata lagi. Apa mau diratakan lagi?

Gerimis. Dewa-dewi kedinginan_ dan menjadi semakin bosan mendengar monotoni nyanyian si keldai sejak senja menghilang tadi. Malam hitam.

Hitam malam bertukar hijau. Malam hijau kini. Dewa sudah menunggang keldai!

Malam kering. Api berbunga, bunyi melantun. Angin tidak mahu bergerak. Saya menuruni tangga hijau.

Filosuf tua & keldai buta. Tertegun mendengar ribut. Mereka. Hening tiba-tiba menutup segala. Pulang! Pulanglah dulu.

Kerikil jadi hangat. Lanskap bergetar mengikut rentak harmonika. Embun turun bersama wangi rambut mu. Rindu sudah hilang dari kamus.

Keringat. Arus deras pagi ini. Dayung tidak patah lagi. Kepul asap dari gelegak dapur. Hanyut! Hanyut! Hanyut! Di situ kah engkau, Bianca?

Kuda-kuda meringkik. Dari awan ke awan, dengan petir di tangan, mencari manusia yang dibenci di bawah sana.

Pentas berlampu hijau. Seekor gagak hitam bersinar matanya. Pemain gitar keraguan di persimpangan jalan. Sambutlah tangan ku kekasih. Sepi.

15 Februari 2011

Riaz Ahmad | Potret Diri | Cat Minyak atas Bongkah Kayu | 12.5 x 17.5 x 4.5 cm | Awal 1990an

Lines at Unfamiliar Places

Twilight. Cleaning the blood stained hands. A cold wind. Shivers in the spine. Lonely beats from the heart. The water turns red.

The screaming coach halted. I stepped down_ a grey and silent station, with two sad eyed children_ sitting_ on a battered coffin.

The screaming coach halted_ vomiting out hurried florescent eyed people_ swallowing in the bored neon blinking eyes_ I was alone here.

I was all alone_ in the dense morning air of last night’s stale tobaccos, alcohols, perfumes, urine and etcetera. Where were you, my love?

I started the platform_ the steps became warmer as they trailed the previous ones. There, a vermillion box with sliding doors_ floating.

Last night’s words_ floating in the dense still air. Wish I could break the dream jar now…

At the Waterfront. The dying tree_ the river_ the watchtower_ the long boat_ the pier_ the godown. Murky waters.

Lone thunder_ Brother, remember we talked about the many stories standing here? Today, I saw only shadows_ and they were fast disappearing.

The rain_ it chased the liar away, and enveloped me into an emotionally defeated self.

Long instances of logic trailed the mid-afternoon’s fumes. The students_ I confused them with unfinished questions.

Damn you! Damn you progress! Progress, damn you!_ my Milwaukee friend is singing… Damn You Progress! Damn.

An old sad-eyed man sitting in between the flowers_ counting his coins on yesterday’s paper full with beautiful girls. A car honks.

Following the hazy morn_ he crawls, mostly with brief halts, listening to the constipation.

22 January 2011

A page from 1993 notebook